one minute at a time

addicts are in constant emotional pain.  my physical back pain started as the emotional wounding from birth when i failed to be a boy.  nothing i could do could change me being a girl.  i was cursed at birth.  babies know.  love is an energy.  without that energy it's a nutrient lacking that we need to be happy.  celebrities thrive on that energy.  we all need love energy to thrive but we can survive on hate, jealousy, shame, etc.  

tried for a returned hot spot, already reserved.  i'm feeling quite relaxed.  cupertino a breeze.  i am a little hungry 3:30.  

72 at 1972

back at the beginning again.  revisiting the past.  now i know how to deal with the symptoms.  white willow for pain.  grapefruit for acid stomach.  comedy for depression.  

i ate the fish and rice for b'fast.  cooked potato for au jus with vegs and corn.

watching charles' coronation.  what an incredible waste of resources.  just because it's how it's always been done doesn't make it good or right.  ridiculous british speech impediments.  like a peter cook parody.

next kentucky derby.  

oops!  let chrome run down turned itself off.  resetting pages amazingly easy.

back on lemon drops

I woke up at 2:30 in pain and felt sick.  put me back to sleep without white willow tincture.  awake again potty break.  loaded lucky's freebie hawaiian chips.  

seniors i played bingo 'til 2:30 with diane and gloria.  at least 20 people.  

pool and bookmobile on STAR WARS DAY

everything hurts.   my stomach feels sick.  i know it's my back.  1972 again.  an hour in the pool i feel good.  

roger rabbit cartoon and live action movie 1988

 i looked up the original 1981 book online.  very different.  

i'm still here

omg.  baked beans and cooked beef.  so good.  i can't believe how delicious it is.  i decided my cinco de mayo is pork and beans and carnitas.  

got olive parmesan foccacio safeway clearance $2.15 homestead.  nothing at college.  then at seniors i couldn't find my i d.  25 minutes looking through the car.  finally found it under the seat.  in the locker room talked with caretaker whose mother passed february and now her ex boss needs her help.  she's on the edge.  maybe she can hire someone else.  if i hadn't been late i would have missed her.  swam 'til 10:45 then dressed.

lunch was ok.  kimo's girlfriend was serving so very late.  she's so weird.  has to be to be kimo's girlfriend.  

feeling relaxed for the first time in my life may day mom's b'day

no family to ruin my life.  sad but true.  halfway to seniors i remembered carnitas sale @ nob hill turned around.  clearance baked beans 10 at $1 ea.  returned home.  i paid bartolo and in the seniors parking lot i sat in the car writing out bills to post after lunch.  showered and relaxed luxuriously.  visited with inge.  lunch ok toki, diane, alex.  insisted toki take alex's asian coleslaw home her favorite.  i digested waiting for inspiration about what to do.  mailed life insurance went to Chase then home to rest.  

cooked red potatoes with second half corned beef sliced napa 4 eggs.  half dinner half b'fast.