Wednesday, September 7, 2011

DEEP CLEANSING SIGH-watching a train wreck in slow motion

Sept 5 was the 12th anniversary of dad's death.  The anticipation was physical.  My body started tensing up.  Thankfully I have meds to balance out the chems.  Three times I carried him to Kaiser emergency.  Two days after he fractured his spine, when he bled in his brain, the week he died.

He complained for months about carrying the duffle bag for their senior gambling junkets so I suggested each have their own bag.  Mit even bought them smaller matching bags.   No good for him.  He'd rather complain. So he heaved it up on the escalator rail and proceeded to fall trapped on the escalator.  The steps fractured his spine.  When they returned home,  I  suggested we go to emergency to get x-rays just to be on the safe side but he insisted the casino doctor said he was fine when he signed the release form..  Two days later he was in excruciating pain, couldn't walk and needed to go to Kaiser in the middle of the night, of course. 

He refused to do anything the doctors and physical therapists requested and got worse and worse, relying more and more on vicodin pain pills.  He'd take the pills and injure himself.  He wouldn't feel it until the pills started to wear off and then the pain was much worse.  My mother refused to do anything.  She was so conditioned to let him do whatever he wanted.

So a few months later the cumodin for his thick blood caused bleeding in his brain.  Mom woke me at 4am to take him to the bathroom saying she couldn't lift him.  The rightside of his body was paralyzed.  I calmly told Mom to back the car out of the garage.  I loaded him into the front seat and we went again to Kaiser in the middle of the night

He was whisked up to Redwood City Kaiser for emergency brain surgery.  Respite for a week.  The saddest holidays ever.

Then in Aug 99 Ail started stirring the pot.  She took mom to reno for two days and was going to sneak away like the snake she is so I told dad like an adult.  He was upset as she expected and desired.  She talked him into going to acupuncture knowing his fear of needles.  Then it was the chiropractor.  My tried and true chiropractor wasn't acceptable or maybe too effective.  She had me drive him to Almaden Valley on Tues. to someone recommended by someone she knew and was trying to impress.  When she wanted me to take him again two days later, because the doc was going on vacation, I refused because his pain was so intense he was awake and moaning and crying begging for his pills to end it all.  Ail convinced Mit to take him on Thursday.  I took him to emergency in the middle of the night fri/sat and he died early Sun morning 9*5*99.

Mit said she killed him.  Actually Ail was responsible.  Mit was just the tool.

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