confusion

I'M FEELING LIFE IS TOO GOOD AND MY MIND REFUSES TO ENCOMPASS HOW GOOD I FEEL  I NEVER REALIZED HOW CEREBRAL I AM.  I CAN'T STAY WITH JUST FEELING GOOD.  I'M NOT USED TO FEELING GOOD.  THEY ALWAYS TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME WITH SOME KIND OF TORTURE AND I LEARNED IF I PUNISHED MYSELF THEY'D LEAVE ME ALONE.  .

THIS IS A NEW EXPERIENCE.  THIS IS THE LONGEST IT'S LASTED WITHOUT ME SCARING MYSELF.

I FILLED THE CAR WITH GAS AND THE TIRES WITH AIR.  I HAVE THREE DAYS BEFORE I HAVE TO THINK OF PAYING BILLS.  HEAVEN.  I CAN REMEMBER HOW TO SPELL HEAVEN.  THE CARTOONS HAD A SENIOR MAGICIAN WHO PUTS HIS KEYS IN A DRAWER, LEAVES THE ROOM FOR 5 MINUTES, COMES BACK INTO THE ROOM AND REMEMBERS THE KEYS!!!

I'D WORRY EXCEPT BEING ATTENTION DEFICIT, HOW WILL I KNOW IF I'M BECOMING FORGETFUL.  AND I CAN'T KEEP MY ATTENTION ON IT LONG ENOUGH TO BECOME WORRIED.