VV JUMBLE-SRS

SLEPT 2-6:30.  GOT COCKY LAST NITE.  T CALLED 7:30 TO SAY HELENE SIMONE STOPPED BY.  I WATCHED ALFRED HITCHCOCK TIL 8:30. BARBARA BARRIE, MRS BARNEY MILLER.

WENT VF SAFEWAY FOR PUDDING CAKE VISITED CVS.  FELT SOOO GOOD.

THEN I COULDN'T SLEEP.  OH, WELL.  PROBABLY NOT THE LAST TIME.  SHE SAID WRYLY.

DOING WHAT I DO-ST JUSTIN YARD SALE-ME AND $

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S WHAT I LOVE. 

LAST NIGHT RETURNED DVDS 11:45 PM.  SO I WOULDN'T HAVE LATE FEES ON MY RECORD.  REMEMBERED AT 11:20 PM.

TODAY REMEMBERED ST. JUSTIN YARD SALE 9-2.  BOUGHT MUSEUM GRADE GLASS PUMKIN FROM JONATHON YAO.  $25.  SIZE OF A CHILD'S HEAD.  SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL. 

ENTERED ALL SAFEWAY NUMBERS FOR MONOPOLY GAME.  YESTERDAY I SPENT 3 HOURS GOING TO VF, $AN CARLOS FOUND 16 KAVA, SCU, RIVERMARK 2X, NORTHSIDE LIBRARY A NEW WODEHOUSE BK I HAVEN'T READ, BACK TO SCU.  2X GAME PIECES.  BOUGHT TURKEY SPAM.  MARIA AT 9:30 MORE SPAM.

I'M DOING WELL.  I STILL HAD ENERGY TO START VINEGAR/HONEY CHICKEN BBQ CROCK.  ADDED ONIONS AND TOMATOES THIS AM. BEEN EATING BROCCOLI STEM RAW.  SOO GOOD. 

I'M HUNGRY, LATER.

MONDAY APRIL 25

AUNTY TOMIE CHANGED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY.  

I'VE ALWAYS WORKED HARD FOR WHAT I HAVE.  BY HER GIVING ME MONEY WITHOUT STRINGS I CAN SPEND IT JOYFILLED.

I WROTE AND TOLD HER SO.

FEELING LIKE A CHILD

THE LETTER FROM THE IRS LAST FRIDAY HAS ME DEPRESSED, SAD.

IT'S LIKE ANOTHER HIT FROM THE FAMILY.

EVERY BAD THING STARTED FROM THE FAMILY.

CAN I THINK OF ANYTHING GOOD?      GOOD QUESTION.

I DON'T KNOW-STILL SHAKEN-See Adult

FALLOUT FROM TRAUMA-SAW AIL SATURDAY 1-2.

I THOUGHT I WAS OK.  YESTERDAY IS A BLUR.  I'M GLAD I WROTE ABOUT MY FEELINGS.  I'M FEELING SURREAL.  I WENT TO SAVERS AND LOST ALL SENSE OF EQUILIBRIUM.  I CALLED T TWICE.  HE WAS WORKING?  I SOLDIERED ON TO SAVEMART FOR MY FREE BACON CAESAR SALAD.  I GOT HOME AND RESTED.  I ATE THE ENTIRE SALAD.  IN TWO STAGES.

I SUSTAINED SO MUCH ABUSE.  THIS A.M. THE FRONT DOOR WAS AJAR.  WHEN IS A DOOR NOT A DOOR.  WHEN IT'S AJAR.  LUCKILY IT'S BEEN RAINING AND WARM.  IT WOULD BE JUST LIKE A TO HAVE M CHECK UP ON ME.

I HAVE TO BE CARE FULL NOT TO ABUSE MYSELF.

I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING SOUNDLY.  OR MAYBE I'VE BEEN WAKING WHEN DISTURBED.  MORE LIKELY GIVEN THE PAST HISTORY OF MY SISTERS.  GASLIGHTING MAY BECOME A HABIT.  THEY DID IT TO MOM.

YESTERDAY THE SIDE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED WHEN I GOT HOME.  SHE LIKES ACTING SNEAKY AND THINKS IT'S SMART.

IT MAY NOT BE ME.

WELL, TODAY OR TOMORROW I CAN GET MY FREE CHILI'S MEAL.

SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

INTO THE NEW YEAR-MAKING MY DREAMS COME TRUE

TODAY'S DAILY WORD.

THIS A.M. WHEN I AWOKE I REALIZED I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPY AND THAT AS A EMBRYO MY LIFE OF ASPERGERS WAS CREATED BY THE LEVEL OF STRESS HORMONES THAT NURTURED MY CELLS.  MOM AND DAD FIGHTING ALL THE TIME.

I COULD FEEL IN MY BODY THE MEMORY OF HOW I WAS BORN.  THEY THOUGHT I MIGHT BE BRAIN DAMAGED BECAUSE I WAS A BLUE BABY WITH THE HEART HOLE.

ANXIETY HAS BEEN THE NORM.  BEING RETARDED WOULD HAVE FIT MOM'S SENSE OF DRAMA.  SELF-PITY.  THE DESCRIPTION FOR MOM AND DAD.

SATURDAY THE 9TH WAS THE BEST!!!  I WENT TO VALLEY VILLAGE FOR THE JUMBLE TO FIND OUT IT WAS POSTPONED TO THE 30TH.

I CONTINUED ON TO THE SENIOR'S CENTER TO EXERCISE.

I THOUGHT I'D GO TO THE LIBRARY TO AIR DRY MY HAIR AND STOPPED TO SEE ST. JUSTIN'S.  THEY'D BEEN CLOSED.  THEY WERE FULL FROM BEING CLOSED.  I FOUND 7 DVDS-$1 EA, 3 SMALL PALLETES-$1, NEW MINI CAST IRON PAN WITH TWO BROWNIE MIX-$3, S/L ANN TAYLOR BEADED NECK TURQUOISE COTTON SWEATER-$3.  THE GENTLEMAN RANG UP THE DVDS AND PALLETTES AND GAVE ME THE LAST TWO ITEMS.  GOD IS GOOD.  THANK YOU GOD-JESUS!!!!

                              NO MATTER THE APPEARANCE KEEP ON.

PLAYING WITH I-PAD/NO LOCKER ROOM THIS WEEK

CHRISTMAS WEEK

I PICKED UP THE I-PAD MONDAY AFTER BEING CALLED SUNDAY TO PICK UP BY TUES.  SHORT NOTICE.  SO I PLAYED WITH IT YESTERDAY A.M. AND IT SOMEHOW CONNECTED ITSELF TO THE INTERNET.  I DIDN'T KNOW IT DID THAT AUTOMATICALLY UNTIL I GOOGLED THE HOW TO CONNECT.  

I BOUGHT MYSELF A PIZZA AFTER T SHOWED UP WITH MY XMAS HEATER AND LEFT FEELING SORRY FOR HIMSELF.  MOTHER ABANDONMENT ISSUES.  STEVE AND STAR WERE DUE IN AT 7PM.  AND DELLA WANTED TO GO TO THE AIRPORT WITH T AND HE RESENTS IT.  AS USUAL.  

I WAS FEELING ANXIOUS MONDAY TO THE CHANGE IN ROUTINE.

SO I'M ADJUSTING TO NO LOCKER ROOM, NO SHOWERS THIS WEEK AT THE SENIOR CENTER.  I CONSIDERED A MONTH AT A WILLOW GLEN CLUB, FITNESS EVOLUTION, FOR $10 BUT IT'S SO FAR AWAY EVEN THOUGH IT HAS A MACHINE MASSAGE TABLE.  MAYBE LATER.  I'M BEING GENTLE WITH MYSELF, NOT FORCING MYSELF TO DO TOO MUCH, TAKE ON TOO MUCH.  

                       I'M PROUD OF MYSELF.

I GOOGLED AUNTY'S ADDRESS IN HAWAII YESTERDAY AND SAW HER LITTLER HOUSE AND A WHITE COMPACT CAR.  I HOPE SHE GETS SOME PLANTS.

SO MUCH FREE STUFF

FOR MY BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR I STARTED WITH MY FREE DENNY'S GRAND SLAM.  TOMAS CALLED INVITING ME FOR LATE LUNCH. 


I CONSIDERED ANOTHER GRAND SLAM OR THE FREE ROUND TABLE INDIVIDUAL PIZZA BUT I WAS TOO MELLOW. 


AND THIS MONDAY THE 14TH AUNTY AND UNCLE SENT ME $$50 MAKING ME REALIZE ALL THE YEARS I NEVER GOT A BIRTHDAY PRESENT BECAUSE MY BIRTHDAY IS IN DECEMBER AND I'D GET A "COMBINED" PRESENT.  SOO MUCH BS. 


THE YEAR I MOVED HOME TO TAKE CARE OF THE PARENTS THEY BOUGHT MIT AND AIL STERLING SILVER AND AQUAMARINE BRACELETS AND I GOT A GOLD TONE MULTICOLORED GLASS BRACELET.  I ASKED FOR ONE OF THE STERLING WITH MY BIRTHSTONE AND WAS REFUSED.  TYPICAL.


I LATER FOUND ONE AT THE UNITY WHITE ELEPHANT SALE FOR $5.  EVERYTHING THAT IS MINE COMES TO ME.


AND CHILI'S HAS GIVEN ME 3 FREE MEALS.