MY HISSY FIT

I HAVE RESOLVED MY UNDERSTANDING OF APPEARANCES:
1) IT'S A SURVIVAL THING.  THE APPEARANCE OF STRENGTH AND HEALTH PRECLUDE ARBITRARY ATTACK.
2) ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE SIGNAL HEALTH AND STRENGTH FOR PROCREATION.
3) TALKING HEADS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES NOT EDUCATIONAL.
4) PEOPLE LOVE SCARING THEMSELVES AND OTHERS.  MOVIES AND AMUSEMENT PARKS.

AFTER A HISSY FIT EPIPHANY.

HELEN BROUGHT ICE CREAM SANDWICHES.  HELEN WASN'T GOING TO GIVE ART AND I ANY SO INGA AND GERDA SPLIT THEIRS.  GERDA IS STILL CONGESTED.  I BOUGHT HER A JUICE FOR CHAMOMILE TEA BAG,  SHE WON'T GET IT FOR HERSELF.  I LOVE HER MORE THAN SHE LOVES HERSELF. 

WINCHESTER WAS BLOCKED WITH ROAD REPAIRS AND I DETOURED AVOIDING THE CONGESTION.  I DECIDED TO SWING BY LUCKY'S FOR O WATER AND DECIDED TO PAY CITIBANK.  THEN I FOUND CLEARANCE CHERRY ALMOND DARK CHOCOLATE BARS, GINGER DARK CHOCOLATE CANDY, ALOE MANGO JUICE, CANS TUNA.  I HAD TO GO BACK FOR THE WATER. 

AND I REMEMBERED DOLLAR STORE MOUTHWASH, TOOTHPASTE AND CHIPS.

I'M FEELING SUCCESSFUL.

WHAT I WANT TO DO.

I WANT TO HAVE CLEAN CLOTHES.  THE PHYSICALITY OF DOING LAUNDRY REQUIRES A STRENGTH I DON'T HAVE YET.  FRUSTRATION.

I ALSO WANT TO GO TO CAMPBELL LIBRARY.  AND I HAVE TO RENEW CHROME.

ACCORDING TO HARVILLE HENDRIX THE PURPOSE OF RELATIONSHIPS IS HEALING WHICH LEADS TO HAPPY.  DOESN'T FEEL QUITE COMPLETE.

NOT FEELING GROWN UP

I LOADED THE LAUNDRY IN THE CAR AND DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT.

IT FEELS LIKE THE WORLD WILL END IF I DON'T DO IT RIGHT WHATEVER THAT MEANS.  THAT'S HOW I FEEL.

IT'S COOLING OFF.  TYGJ.

AFTER LUNCH I LISTENED TO THE HEALING MEDITATION CD AND ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP FOR 15 MINUTES.  I PONDERED GOING TO LAUNDRY, NAH.  I WATCHED GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 2.  I HADN'T SEEN IT. 

I CAME HOME ATE LEFTOVERS AND CHERRIES. 

WALKMAN

SINCE THE RECEPTION ON THE CHROME BOOK IS IFFY I CAN LISTEN TO MY WALKMAN CD PLAYER.  I CAN'T CONTINUE TO EXPOSE MYSELF TO THE NEGATIVITY OF MARILYN AND HELEN.  STRESS I CAN AVOID.

THE HEALING SELF BY DEEPAK CHOPRA CATALOGS THE DAMAGE OF STRESS IN STAGES.  I'M JUST HUMAN.  I'M SO BLESSED.  I CAN DEAL WITH IT.  I HAVE TOOLS.

WATCHING ERIC AND NOT BEING ABLE TO FIX HIS LIFE WAS LIKE WITNESSING MY FAMILY.  MORE STRESS.  HELPING OTHERS IS HELPING MYSELF BY LOWERING MY STRESS.  WHEN I CAN'T HELP WATCHING SUFFERING IS HARD.

I WANT EVERYONE TO FIND HAPPINESS.  EVERYONE HEALTHY.

MY IDEAL.  I'LL SETTLE FOR ME BEING HAPPY AND HEALTHY. 

WHEN I WAS A CHILD I NOTICED HAPPY PEOPLE ARE KIND.  UNHAPPY PEOPLE ARE CRUEL.  IT JUST MAKES SENSE TO LIVE IN A KIND WORLD.

12:3- EVELYN CAME FOR A VISIT. I THOUGHT I WAS SEEING THINGS.  HUGS ALL AROUND.  SHE AND GEORGE WERE MY GOOD PARENTS.  I WISH IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR HER TO LIVE IN TWO CITIES.  SHE WAS SO ACTIVE BEFORE.  I LOOKED UP SHINGLE SPRINGS ON THE MAP.  UGH.

MINI TANTRUM

I'M TRYING TO HAVE MORE FUN.

I FEEL SO ANGRY.  ANGRY BIRD.

ERIC WOULD HAVE BEEN 63 TODAY.

UNDERSTANDING

"WITH ALL YOUR GETTING GET UNDERSTANDING".

I UNDERSTAND WHY MOM NEVER GAVE ANYTHING WITHOUT GETTING FIRST.  SHE LEARNED MOST PEOPLE DON'T GIVE.   THEY TAKE. 

AND MITZI ONLY GIVES WITH SOMETHING TO TAKE ALREADY IN MIND. 

AILEEN AND DAD GAVE HOPING TO RECEIVE ACCOLADES WHICH IS NEVER ENOUGH. 

I GIVE WHEN IT IS MORE VALUED BY SOMEONE INCREASING THE VALUE. 

I'M GETTING UNDERSTANDING.  TYGJ.

LAUNDRY RECYCLE DO NOTHING?

I CAN'T DECIDE.  I FEEL THIS ENERGY TO DANCE.  I'M REGAINING CONTROL OF MY BOUND MUSCLES AS THEY RELAX.  WHAT A GREAT FEELING.

I'VE BEEN SO TENSE FOR MOST OF MY LIFE.  RELAXATION TAKES VIGILANCE OR I AUTOMATICALLY TENSE UP.  NO WONDER I WAS SO SKINNY.  CONSTANT TENSION BURNS A LOT OF CALORIES.

FAT PEOPLE ARE RELAXED PEOPLE.  THEY DON'T LIVE WITH FEAR AND ANXIETY AS CONSTANT COMPANIONS.

I EXERCISED AND STILL FEEL GREAT.  WELL, GREATER THAN I USUALLY FEEL THE PAST 20 NO MY ENTIRE LIFE.

I ACCEPT THE BEST NOW.  BEST FOR ME.