Monday, February 27, 2012

Still don't know-Suffering Growing Pains.OUCH!

What I did last week I don't know but the loading sign was going round and round and I couldn't do a thing with this blog.

Carole Allen suggested something was wrong with the server when I told her all my 3 blogs were locked into loading mode.  Locked and loading. Hmmm.  She's so smart with computers.

I need to get more disciplined.  I've been feeling sooo stressed.  The reprogramming is working and is like growing a new skin.  Like a new baby experiencing growing pains.  No wonder babies cry all the time if there is no one to comfort them.  And why they become stunted, unable to grow to their capacity.  If there is no reassurance this is a very scary world.  If no one encourages them (gives them courage=heart) they curl up and wither.  Their bodies continue growing but their minds and spirits are turned inward in self-protection.  They may look alright on the outside but inside they are stunted.

So the tobacco diversion.  I took bupropion and I feel distanced from my emotions and the world.  I want to be in the world to maneuver and have the human experience.  That's why I'm here.  The tobacco is a natural analgesic.  Just enough damping down the pain and discomfort.   Cigars must be natural, no additives or preservatives.

I've been fending off a cold all week.  Last week everyone coughing, sneezing on the sunny bright days more like allergies all over the puzzle table.  So my immune system lowered from allergies and working in the yard didn't help.  I felt strong like the tiger I am, didn't think of allergies or washing off.  Oh, well live and learn.  Learn!! 

I need to write the science of evolution on Aspergersnextgeneration.

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