TOBACCO

PULLS ME INTO MY BODY.  I GUESS BECAUSE IT BECAME PART OF MY DNA IN UTERUS.  MOM'S SECOND HAND SMOKING WHEN SHE WAS LIGHTING DAD'S CHAIN SMOKING WHILE COMPLAINING TO MAKE HIM SEEM UNATTRACTIVE TO OTHER WOMEN.

CRITICISM TEARING DOWN THE LOVE OBJECT TO ENSURE POSSESSION.  MAKE THEM INSECURE, OFF BALANCE, AFRAID TO LEAVE.

I BECOME AWARE OF MY FINGERS AND FEET.  MY EXTREMITIES.  I NEED A REPLACEMENT.  I KNOW THE EFFECTS OF DRYNESS, ALLERGY, AND BEING A NIGHTSHADE PLANT IS BAD FOR ARTHRITIS.  OR MAYBE NOT.  A TINCTURE OF CONTROLLED POISON ANTIDOTE.  I'D LIKE MY ALLERGIES GONE.

I'M SPENDING THE DAY IN BED.  I NAPPED 45 MIN.  I'M COOKING GRASS FED ANGUS BEEF STEW IN THE CROCK POT.

i'm feeling full of dread and fear.  this room has 55 year;s of fear in it.