Wednesday, October 27, 2021

i've been sitting thinking

there must be a class today parking is full.  it was staff of free hearing test filling parking lot 'til noon.

i'm feeling terrified.  like 1976 when i had agoraphobia before i knew about the family tradition of suicide i was afraid to drive.  i had panic and anxiety attacks to the point i thought i'd die behind the wheel of my car killing some innocent.  it stopped while shopping with ex and feeling faint.  when i told him he moved away from me making me so angry the panic and anxiety were gone.  i learned.  angry people are fighting off feelings. 

moved car for internet.  all i must do is survive today.  

i went to renew ira.  now in liquid money market.  no required withdrawal 'til next year.  so i can decide later, i have more time.   

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