Tuesday, January 10, 2023

mom's legacy of loneliness

feels so normal.  it's a miracle i'm alive.  with all the insanity i've endured.  i can understand celebrities killing themselves.  insanity is designed to isolate.  insanity seeks to separate from the herd.  exclusion vs inclusion.  

my right eye has been twitching and now this morning my right hand has new neuropathy ring and pinky finger numb tingly on awakening.  and right thumb feels better?  or more numb i can't tell.

heather mcallister left a flyer on the back banquet tables.  the only flyer in the room taped to the spot i sometimes sit.  i was going to sit at the last round table but i noticed next to the place setting in back where i sometimes charge my chrome.  i'm documenting that jennifer had heather deliver meals while jennifer signed people in.  so much extra effort for little old me.  the best part is i'm demonstrating to my peeps.  i had them look at the flyer noting no one else got one.  states 'places cannot be saved.'  i don't argue with idiots or the insane.  waste of time and energy and running the risk of getting mired in the insanity.  and i'm no longer responsible for saving seats.  i'm as free as a bird.  thank you my sisters.  i'm excited.  i went did a load of laundry between the rain.  missed washing a pair of pants.  next time.  i used to condemn myself (past family training) and i can see it for what it is, nothing.  

i can't believe all the online gossip i'm following.  who am i?  i'm reading about trump, melania, harry and meghan you name it.  

stopped dollar tree last 2 frozen burgers.  no line a miracle usually to the back of the store.  i planned on leaving if a long line.

i hung everything.  i used 2 plastic bags to transport clothes instead of one basket.  i carried them in separately and planned on emptying one, resting then the other, had energy to hang both at once.  energized by st justin windbreaker.  threw together dinner so much veg.  

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