Sunday, November 19, 2023

on the edge

rest now to recharge.   i'm watching 'men in black' 1997.  dad was on the edge and mom was dealing with his decline and i was holding everything and everyone together.  

it's so different to listen to my body and put my health first.  shivers my timbers.  today i'm processing mom suicide trauma.  glad i have nicotine lozenges to make myself calmer more comfortable.  i ate cheese omelet at 6 now 10 am i want supplements and faux crab lettuce mix.  i'm feeling a little anxiety.  my usual distraction is doing.  like workaholics running from uncomfortable emotions.  can't feel or think while doing.  

living consciously takes mental and emotional discipline.  food, drugs, alcohol and emotional avoidance.  food takes the most discipline.  you got to eat to stay alive.  hence eating disorders.  

'men in black' marathon 1997, 2002, i never watched 2012.  huh.  

sunny library noon book sale hours.  i used coupon for an immense bag of movies.  i returned movies and tried link + 'pain free' none in system and she didn't give me attitude like guys.  home by 2.  tired with another big bag of movies.

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