it amazes me that people think there's a difference. there isn't. one piece at a time. multi-tasking is still one move at a time.
I watch popular movies to understand human behavior. 'mission improbable' encourages young people to ride atop trains. kids' brains don't differentiate movies aren't real life.
I woke 8 am. I kept waking and ate leftovers b'fast 5 am. seniors soaking 8:30.
the car had water under it maybe condensation. the left front brake was making a grinding noise at the bottom but the warning light was off. if I braked gently no noise. so I'm hoping it's dirt on the disc. I'm keeping my phone charged 73% since yesterday in case I need to call AAA. CARLOS CLOSED WEEKEND.
I forgot Gloria told me St Just closed and went back to Sprouts ended up buying a meat stick and prepped watermelon and mixed blue and strawberries $3+3. the sandwiches weren't appetizing.
on the way back to the library I went to an estate sale second day so sparse. spider pin like mine $20 I passed bought used sewing kits and small spoons $5. if I hadn't gone to Sprouts I wouldn't have shopped estate sale. beautiful house. 2346 Kay Dr.
I finally looked at mail. car insurance OK.
I started new Lego puzzle I make it look so good everyone wants to play. Jane tracked me down from under parking to complain of visa difficulty. she told me she had thinking problems and yet insists on travel.
I found quiet empty copy room.
daily word "let go, let God". I can do that.
phone down to 4%. I am so over phone talk. I've never been a fan of talk.
today and tomorrow so new puzzle is 300 PC 'bon appetit'. the 'quilt cupboard' took 1 week. 65 edge pieces. the funny things I wonder about.
lunch was Walter and Toke. Bonny and Judy were doing both lunch and BBQ.
the lady that donated the puzzle was serving at the BBQ. Fred gave me Debi's ticket. she passed. I had to stand in line 20 min. Fred said he didn't know what I wanted. I'm not picky. especially when it's free. so I earned it. Walter stood in line with me until he was tired. he's feeling lonely and anticipating the shut down next week. he can hang at mission library. my little bro.
I came to central and puzzled 2 hours before annoying "HA!" man turned up. time to rest. he has to tap the piece like it's going to float away.
my quest for understanding.
"With all thy getting, get thee understanding."
Sunnyvale at 10 very busy. lunch was delicious Emma gave my milk and cantaloupe to Russell of the 7 dwarfs.
the sweets I ate didn't help. chewing the bit of tylophora clearing my nausea. soothes my stomach instantly.
lovely 63 degree overcast weather. Cup library 9:50 #1 parking. I returned and picked up. then pondering I followed Spirit to Target. too big wind shield wipers I decided to pay bill. had to find it in trunk. I took my time doing what I wanted. from there I decided on shower and Safeway.
b'fast I made ramen added carnitas. tastes so good and so bad for sugar and salt. I made 1 small burrito.
I like the 'quilt cupboard.' 9:30 I showered and stretched. I decided no pool.
I picked up lunch and weekend bag from St Just and Gloria avoiding me reminds me of Tom. I'm ready to relax and stretch. I puzzled an hour on the central library 'fairyland'.
Lee is harassing 2 upstairs librarians. everyone is looking at him. I got here 1 pm and settled into my spot. 3 pm he showed up keeps going from the librarian desk to the puzzle. I started a new puzzle at seniors "quilt cupboard" and the one at central library is "fairyland". the librarian did an excellent job of calming him. I mentioned to the librarian he's picked fights with different people twice at senior lunch and I wonder if it's a blood sugar issue like my diabetic parents. she said he was complaining I was sitting in his chair and he's had things stolen and wanted to call the police. just like my crazy family. dad said I caused his cancer after I moved back home to take care of him and mom. crazy is as crazy does.
better them than me. august the month my sisters made hell there's only HEAVEN on the horizon. they called the police to interview him. so he's on record. he's my dad. he brought the officer over saying I was sitting in his spot I ignored them. he's on the record as a nut.
last night just before falling asleep I didn't remember receiving the PGE bill. so 6 am I started fetching water, rinsing the car and general housekeeping found it next to my TV chair. due 18th. and I found the SC summer reading coupon neatly folded in with my gift cards. and I set out my Target bill due the first. Augh! Discover!
I now have an icon link to my Sunny lunch menus but I have no clue how they appeared. magic.
I wanted to start new puzzle but it disappeared. so I'm resting and relaxing in the ultra cool computer room. so quiet all me.
no Cody I sat with Inge who had Jim cookies delicious coconut crispy rollers. I looked it up sold at Costco and Walmart. lunch was bad food good company.
the library is lovely cool Lee is in my spot again. I figured out he's jealous. he made a point of dissing me, giving to Toke to make me jealous I have to laugh.
I came to the children's section where the good parents are. I still feel sorry for the kids. the world is messed up. when Lee took my spot I knew there's something better for me. TA DA!! 2 restrooms are right here.
I read the tofu book. new ideas.
I'm hoping I'll be better. after dad died I was on mom suicide watch and when she died the sisters eviction and estate tax shenanigans consumed my energy. I finally hired a lawyer $5000 retainer.
I'm #1 parking seniors. I soaked early and made 3 copies Sunnyvale senior lunch menu Toke, Trudy. I showed it to Fred to take a picture of on his phone. I don't know what I was thinking, bell pepper casserole today. so no extra. I guess I didn't want chick Cesar salad. Bonny said the watermelon feta was good. she took picture of Sunny menu too.
library lovely cool. Toke encouraged me. new Disney stamps puzzle. two frantic alien girls were harshing my mellow so I walked the library. I amazed myself.
dinner was noodles and liquid aminos. my muscle soreness feels like over exercising. lactic acid build up.
I finished puzzle. so satisfying. I got extra pesto fish lunch, tossed the water logged mushy Brussel sprouts. I could have fed them to animals but no nutrition left. I remembered chamomile for Judy.
over at central library the puzzle orphans are here. makes me glad I didn't have kids to neglect and abuse. she and east Indian frantically finished puzzle. poor ignored kids. library packed. heat advisory this week.
muscle cramping. I didn't eat b'fast. took my vitamins, drank some too sweet equate and made myself so sick.
I went to central library to return hot spot and update book and CD. I played on the puzzle 'til 5.
over a week without massage tub. center closed September dad's death anniversary. I was thinking of Sunnyvale lunch Toke looked alarmed so maybe not. I think Walter would miss me too.
no warm tub. they put up sign did not replace caution tape. probably staff use only. will be shut down Sept 1-9.
I picked up lunch 10:15. Sandy gave me weekend too. said hi to Gloria. parked under central. very low key overcast. cute twin girls and beautified dad with bow hair clips puzzling power puff girls. mom showed up later all needed to eat were becoming frantic.
I'm pondering. Sunnyvale hot spot ready. county holds too. today or tomorrow. I put together border of mythical world map. smarty pants Asian librarian asked if I was going to put it together. I forgot my glasses but managed. I surprised myself.
Walter helps me stay focused. (I find the Google format intruding. it inserts comments to link up.)
he reminds me to plan for success. failure to plan is planning for failure. I think I just made that up.
I'm having fun playing on the puzzle and resting my back. I do some stretching.
dinner I added 2 T. left over ravioli sauce to sourdough garlic parmesan bread heated in toaster oven better than new.
new behaviors=new freedom.
8 X wash=$11.75 for blankets. actually cheaper lucky laundry $4.75 per 2-3.
so reminiscent of "New Tricks" theme. I finished salad mix for b'fast. I preferred it plain and ate pumpkin for dessert. I added vanilla protein shake to cold brewed hazelnut coffee. not as good as I hoped. only OK. 30 mg protein did fill me up.
lunch OK. only bland veg extra. home I ate pumpkin. dinner Chef Boyardee ravioli tomato sauce for the garlic bread.
so perfect. 64 degree, no traffic since 95050 opens 5 am. and #1 parking spot seniors. I gave Inge 2 magazines while waiting with Indus Sue.
I stretched in pool while tub is still broke. I stayed out all last week. I miss it. the water is relaxing.
lunch was OK. cheese omelet with powdered eggs. I mentioned it and Diana refused to eat it. I sat with Bonny and Judy. Fred, Walter, and Toke. staying alert I got the only omelet. I finished at home fell asleep 10 minutes during my People Puzzler.
I mended my Judy Moody bag again.
my autism makes me laugh. watching commercials I fixate on people's nostrils. they so funny looking. like eyebrows. if you really look at them they're weird.
lying in bed without worldly demands. 16 hours of rest. 8 years of bed ridden in constant pain rest eluded me. my miserable childhood without rest. I finally have some peace and rest.
watching "My Week With Marilyn" I think few people have a loving mother and that's her connection with people. she worked intensely to become herself.
10:30 gym shower. 2 shady spots. went to $ tree bought 5 fish oil, 1 zinc, basil pesto. drove around block to Gym 2 Safeway walked store and bought 5 soup/2. drove to library returned movies and book. Sprouts pumpkin and tag remover. Nob Hill parked under and took my time. salad and frozen orange chicken and lo mein. cooked it first thing. my lunch and dinner.
I made b'fast ramen, added left over lunch veg and amino. very satisfying. "What we do in the Shadows" vampire shows not clever. I'm trying to find the value.
it was so hot I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. found parking at L Gym. the half hours good for spaces.
I checked $tree Toke gossip closing next year. a mess. I wouldn't want to work there. too much resentment. no fish oil. I bought 1 mouth wash, 2 over priced chips, plain black hair bands. over $6.
going to St Just helps me deal with the overcharge. Charity and Sandy. it was kind of fun. like a fair. over to library found Sgt Pepper CD and 2 DVD in book store $6. FUN FUN SILLY WILLY!!
Occam's razor really was a William of Occam.
I love creating order. I'm pondering pencil drawings since I have the large orphaned frame from seniors.
WHO KNEW? 10-12 almonds=1 aspirin. "Common Knowledge" TV show.
I rinsed my car with 5 bottles of water. I printed DD form 2 sided.
Walter got me an extra plate of lunch and was insulted on my behalf when Hilde refused me food. I told him she be crazy. sometimes she's reasonable some days crazy just like family. he felt confused.
Epiphany-jealous dad hated Mexican food without trying it because mom went out with her co-workers every Friday and raved about the restaurant food. this while telling us TV dinners were too expensive.
Patterson ranch site of first Renaissance Faire. question on Master Minds. I was taking Shakespeare and went to the hot dirty parking in plowed fields.
NO! when we learn our individuality unless it's beaten out of us. I don't want to. no soak tub needs repair part.
Arlene at Chase suggested it was the choice of bills that triggered error code if specific bills were unavailable. I got my cash and deposited at Merry West.
I walked Sprouts and last 5 clearance CBD soda $1.30 ea and 3 $4 black sesame seeds. then I remembered fish oil I detoured to $tree none I picked out 2 reading glasses and 2 chick fries.
home my back hurt so bad my stomach hurts. I did too much putting everything away.
couldn't withdraw 90002 message to call customer support. David helped me with branch phone and Vidan checked my account suggested ATM short of cash try teller branch. I'm tired of jumping through hoops. I didn't bring my phone or glasses. tomorrow.
I deserve Heaven. I checked Cal PERS site DD form. print tomorrow. when I opened CU account only Sunny branch now 3. may be time to change DD.
I've made a hundred small changes in my life. my TV reception stopped so I turned it off to reboot. worked. time for pumpkin pie. lunch was not good chicken mole.
I was on suicide watch after dad died. I didn't have the time or energy. Creepy had been manipulating mom and dad, torturing all three of us, leaving me to deal with the result of her machinations. she insisted dad go to her picked unknown chiropractor rather than mine of many years. it finally killed him. when I refused to take him she got Crawly to take him they killed him. I told Crawly not to and she cried to me she killed him after I insisted she not listen to Creepy. I grieve for all of us. they're damned.
I started a Van Gogh puzzle to give myself a break. I puzzled 'til 10 and soaked and stretched. then lunch with Trudy and Ken, Walter was early, Fred, Toke. home I decided to try the brown rice quinoa. it's OK. I used the last 4 eggs.
is stressful. letting go takes practice.
I tried paying $40 on my Citibank message said too much money I went back to shade car got $38 and went through. on to shade Cup Safeway for 3 chips free dip, orange cream Coke and clearance sourdough garlic Parmesan round loaf half of $3.69. parked in the shade front of the library 20 min zone picked up movies. pondered what to do I drove to the shade gym 2 Safeway and found 2/$1 chips and 2/$1.25 orange Hostess cupcakes my favorite. feeling hot and sweaty I showered at gym lots of little ones swim school. across ECR I parked in the shade and walked Sprouts clearance pumpkin pie $4.69.
home 12:30 I baked 1/4 bread so good.
watching season 5 King of Queens I'm processing stored anxiety. my sisters were campaigning for my death. they'd manipulated both parents to death and it was my turn. dad's 9/5/99 death the summer of torture. constant harassment and threats of physical violence and I was bedridden too sick to defend myself waiting to die. I'd witnessed them in action. I was too worn down taking care of the parents to fight. I couldn't care anymore. too worn down.
my stomach upset is post nasal drip my busy brain looking for cause turns to worry over bills and basic survival. I'm feeling threatened again as my feelings process. I have to wait 'til it passes 'tho feeling fight or flight.
listening to healing music helps me breathe.
I've experienced Hell I know Heaven is real.
9 am I walked $tree and 5 brown rice+quinoa all they had. on to Safeway 2 clearance relaxing gummy and clerk charged me for only one because of BOGO message on receipt. so I lost $13 on Lucky frozen rewards. WEIRD I dropped $20 change blew under car. I re-parked the car and retrieved the bill. never happened before.
working for God I surrender. I go where I'm directed. arrived seniors 7 minutes early.
still locked out of Safeway and Lucky's. Savemart must have had breach and not disclosing. Panera OK.
finished Disney puzzle 8:15. lunch not good. Fred looked through one anatomy book. I looked through both.
