torture

my physical and emotional body is releasing and processing dad's death.  I was on suicide watch for mom.  we hadn't slept the last week of his life due to the sisters' harassment and manipulations.  that last month was power games and lies.  I was ashamed and sad, so sad.  he cried and suffered.  they went home leaving mom and I to deal with him begging us to kill him.  after he was dead Mitzi came to me crying that she killed him.  too late.  I warned her not to threaten him.  I didn't want to hear her.