disappeared

 arrived cooling station 2;30.  2-8 pm.  

i picked up yucky pasta lunch, ate it nothing on tv i lay down with relaxation yoga fell asleep 'til 2.  i had to move parking lot barricade not pinching my finger. like 2 weeks ago.  stayed 'til 6;30.  

oh, i want to smoke

 my faithful friend.  my non judgmental confidante.  i miss the rush, the dizzy neutral pain free feeling.

igor is on tv.  reassuring.  part of my reprogramming.  eva sings the sun'll come out tomorrow and it does.  jaclyn and heidi = jekyll and hyde.  'everyone has an evil bone but we don't have to use it.'  'we don't have to be evil to succeed.'

peggy cappy relaxation yoga is amazing.  i need more relaxation.  and now i know why i bought so many blankets besides they were so cheap.  i can fold them for bolsters.  i'm using some already folded in pillow cases for firm support.  

i dug out a karaoke machine for the living room to listen to secret cd.  after the lifetime of negativity it's going to take a lot to reprogram.  

i finally cooked the package of bean soup and i have the brown rice and can dice tomatoes.  

tcb

 i'm hanging on.  i went and picked up lunch and walked the park.  i decided not to go safe way.  i'm feeling tired from stretches i did 'how to sing' is holistic.  head neck, breathing, posture exercises.  wow.

as i continue to stretch muscles the stored childhood traumas are released.  post traumatic stress is stored as a survival device.  during the emergency attention must be placed on the crisis.  body reactions are stored and ignored.  when it's safe the muscles release the chemicals.  body memory like not having to think of walking, driving, brushing teeth.  my entire childhood was a series of violent scenes that i survived by being invisible and silent.  attention=target.

doing what i want

i've been watching what i usually miss going to seniors.  i ate cheerios milk chocolate for breakfast, freebie chicken snack i cooked and forgot last night.  

i thought about going to safe way freebies and $v dollar store.   

spare the air called good quality next 2 days but my are eyes stinging.  

i finally figured saving then using back arrow to publish.

trump uses emotions to get what he wants.  emotions trump intellect.  emotions are hardwired as a survival mechanism intellect develops later.  emotions are primal.  trump goads his victims into an emotional state bypassing reason.  he's so crazy he may drive people sane.

cbs twilight zone

 happier outcomes.  does my spirit good to know a better world is shared.  the original became darker and darker over time.  looks like this one too.

being bored by the darkness which i can get anytime everywhere i decided to check halford for freebie and water.  in car i remembered to fill up gas.   no water plenty of freebie.  bought chicken breast no card went to saratoga 3 waters used $4 rewards and back to halford for freebie.  home i felt hungry heated ate 2 servings kababs $5.69 reg price.  2 cookies dessert.  drank oxygen right down.  

less

 this format is not nearly as good.  just another example of ego needing something to do.  pointless doing.

i went to citibank due today. 1 pm  halford closed and 2 atms out.  i called the out of service number and went round and round the computer.  i hung up and drove to saratoga paid bill and stopped at lucky's, has water, no freebie.  i bought lettuce.  i came home loaded expiring rewards points and tomorrow i can check lawrence for water and freebie.  i can always go back.  

i have tomorrow and monday.  hurrah!!

i'm feeling sad

this format is too open.  strange icons.  today must be some kind of new beginning.  

'family affair' is showing it's pilot on cozi-tv.  9/12/1966 first broadcast.  back in time machine.  

the pale orange tab color looks weak.  i need a break. 

9;47 car #4 senior lunch line walk in park squirrel avocados.  they added one box of cheerios for monday holiday.  the juice box was crushed and leaked.