misplaced my dreaded phone. not healthy. i recognize. this is a win. i'm not ready to date. i'm healing my #1 priority. he wants me to entertain him not my job. if he wants to spend time with me make my life better easier not harder more complicated with me jumping through his hoops. he's helping me define what i want. i feel like an idiot not knowing. i'm still feeling family pressure to know what i don't know. they'd ask what i want, go out of their way NOT to give me, making up ludicrous excuses and rubbing my face in it. HUMILIATION.
i can feel the self doubt and mistrust in my big belly. tom was the same 1985 liar. 37 years to admit to myself.
noon just tried to return Cathy's call. received her card late last night too tired fell asleep how i misplaced my phone. funny card witch riding on broom cat behind her says "i hate when she eats burritos." inside says i hope your Halloween doesn't stink. lol.
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