Sunday, March 5, 2023

feeling vaguely sad-hidden trauma

watching basic hula video from main.  great hip exercises.  the cowgirl skirts i sewed are hula skirts.  a lot of pain and confusion of 4 year old me coming out.  i looked up little grass shack, lovely hula hands on youtube and playing them body memory is releasing grief.  we came here cali i lost everyone who loved me.  i remember learning and doing the hulas with my family.  line dances recalled the happiness i felt.  

the sunny copy of 'ove' is scratched and skipping also.  county cup has 2 copies who knows if any good or all scratched up.  starts hanging suicide like my grandpa, dad's dad.

i'm waiting for my next chapter.  going out at 3 is the warmest part of the day.  the hills are still covered in snow.  

gym hot tub, county lib success exchanged 'ove', on to sunny returned scratched 'ove' and borrowed young sheldon 1-4, new harry potter 3-d 300 pc puzzle.  felt so good walked nob hill frozen dinner.  drove costco crazy parking and gas traffic.  home 7 pm.

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