Monday, January 8, 2024

delightful 'til walter

i went 9:30 puzzled 'til 10:30.  showered, ate chef salad, extra bean stew.  puzzled more and walter showed up 2 pm.  he's stuck and fights to stay stuck.  he's more invested in self pity than happiness.  oh, well.  everyone has a right to their vision of heaven.  

better or worse.  i feel worse after walter.  he replays his tapes not living just dredging up his pain over and over.  he treasures his anxiety by refusing to try new responses.  i run from pain he rolls in it.  i have to cut him loose.  he doesn't want a better life.  he rehashed November again.  i feel like i lost 2 months of life.  i left at 5 then returned to use wi-fi.  took half hour.  

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