i went 9:30 puzzled 'til 10:30. showered, ate chef salad, extra bean stew. puzzled more and walter showed up 2 pm. he's stuck and fights to stay stuck. he's more invested in self pity than happiness. oh, well. everyone has a right to their vision of heaven.
better or worse. i feel worse after walter. he replays his tapes not living just dredging up his pain over and over. he treasures his anxiety by refusing to try new responses. i run from pain he rolls in it. i have to cut him loose. he doesn't want a better life. he rehashed November again. i feel like i lost 2 months of life. i left at 5 then returned to use wi-fi. took half hour.
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