Wednesday, November 11, 2020

family hatred=war veterans

toxins are pouring out of my cells.  nora monaco 1985 told me i carried the family guilt on my chest and i've been carrying the hatred, agony and directed antagonism in my cells too.  i shiver as it leaves my body.  i've been stretching since 4 am trying to get comfortable.  i feel differently.  i feel lighter and wonder if the world's obesity is an unconscious attempt to balance stored projected negativity.  it's like wearing a horrible coat.  without a mirror it can't be seen.  without an image it can't be perceived.  ruth, joel, janet confronted me about 'my' perceived anger.  ruth asked for my opinion and because their perception had nothing to do with me i could only wonder that they discussed it among themselves before confronting me.  i was curious without any other emotion.

i feel surprisingly well considering all i accomplished yesterday.  i thought i'd be exhausted having run around so much.  i'm still popping and crackling whenever i shift position.

1 pm.  somehow i lost 2 hours.  the clock battery and lack of hunger.  usually i'm ready for lunch 11-11;30.  today i'm not hungry.  i'm cooking veg for when i am.  i have roast slices.  i nuked 2 yams washed wrapped in parchment.  3 min turn 2 more.  i washed the sliced mushrooms in the big spinner.  i had to wash the moth bodies out first.  who knew.  i drained it flipping and turning for hours then nuked it in garage 20 minutes 30% stir 20-30% 20-30% stir.  3;30 i called 24 hour for wait time no customers.  i showered washed hair in the warm.  no chairs.  i hung from bars stretched back and legs.  walked safe way then went $tore looking for leg warmers.  bought 2 m wash, fish oil, 50 cent 2 laundry bags.  gave busker $2.  home i assed mushrooms to ramen and pork slices.  tried to watch cma awards too boring.

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