7 am i'm feeling restless don't know what to do. i'm exercising and remembering how it was and wasn't. and i'm focusing on what i want more importantly who i choose to be.
i spent the night fitfully waking every 2 hours. i thank god i have tv to soothe me, calm me. got up half hour ago wondering what for b'fast. sun day morning is running 9-11. 8:46-9:03 est how well i remember waking 6:46 turning on the tv lying in bed with my back broken, shredded from caring for the parents, disappointed, heart broken my sisters were attacking me for the estate. i was confused seeing the same scene on every channel. i turned on the sound and 7:03 watched the second jet impact the second world center tower. i cried for those dead and those left behind glad mom had died may 13 and didn't see the horror, couldn't feel the wave of despair.
no wonder i'm not hungry.
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