Saturday, June 18, 2022

crashed didn't update

woke 3:30.  7:40 went dollar $v store got there 8:07 opened late.  2 burritos i nuked and ate, 6 eggs $1.25, mouthwash, dinner, asparagus.  thought about gym but frozen food so...

i cooked both burritos i've wanted for months and meat loaf dinner with asparagus and quinoa.  lunch and dinner.   i'm blessed.  i don't feel the need to go anywhere.  i used to love driving i don't know who i am.

the hardest part of aging is the loss of function.  constantly redefining who i am.  it's all exhausting.  no wonder i'm tired.

called Walter 6:30 b'day he was shopping cost co 39 minute he hasn't been sleeping.  i explained to him having lived through it.  the body remembers the parental trauma when the mind has moved on.  the calendar can trigger post traumatic stress.  it's simple genetic survival of the species coding.  so i told him i use movies or mantras to calm and bore myself to sleep.

i don't know anyone dying from lack of sleep, going crazy or psychotic not dying.

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