Saturday, August 21, 2021

i figured out the ptsd

every thing that breaks brings back the trauma and drama of parents dying long pain and fear filled deaths.  the betrayal of neglect of my 2 sisters i don't want to accept as blood.  they betray their blood.  their own parents.  makes me sad they didn't love their own parents.  how can they love themselves when their bodies are from mom and dad.

Gavin stayed and talked to me.  Mario left to another job.  i gave Gavin the 2 bags groceries and we talked the cactus and cut grapes.  i think concord.

i guess most people just do what they want.  i puttered this morning and 9 i decided to come to sunny vale library.  i registered the Rheem water softener online.  i can extend the warranty by buying and using the cleaner recommended by saving the receipts.

my body feels ok.  i could use some leg work the rest of me feels ok except my neck feels retracted like a turtle in its shell.  i want to get home 1 pm.  we'll see.

i got home 12:15 'love boat' is the marathon.  hurray!!  balances out my right hip.  i can barely walk it hurts so much.  must be a pinched nerve.  didn't hurt this much when i fell on it 2014.  don't know what i did.  i opened what i thought was oat ice cream it was cottage cheese.  i made 3 burger patties cooked one.  peppered and ate the cottage cheese while the burger nuked.  ate 1 chocolate cherry cookie and my hip screamed.   

i found half of fry day sandwich in microwave.

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