ironic how many times i've been betrayed. i've never had anyone in this lifetime protect my back. during Mari-el i connected with 3 deaths from back injuries. no wonder i have trust issues.
watching Dr. Daniel and wife Tana Amen overcoming anxiety depression trauma grief on PBS. talking directly to me. i'm ready to give back family drama trauma alcoholism suicide and create my own life story. i've been living theirs. of course my sisters have continued along family lines and seem further along. they didn't re invent the wheel just kept rolling along alcoholism suicide road.
cooked quinoa with chicken and bell pepper juices. shredded ca bobs so good with almonds Bragg amino supplement. my improved healthy diet. any step an improvement. i accept any improvement without diminishing its importance.
my family always diminished my successes. never acknowledged my college degree. 2 years later Alien in attempt to manipulate me out of the blue says mom and dad hurt i didn't invite them to my graduation when they never offered any assistance or acknowledgement when i told them 1976. she so crazy. i never even went to my own graduation. they criticized and ridiculed my accomplishments taking credit when they did nothing. i didn't need more of that.
i figured out how mom made me a caretaker. she made me always put everyone else ahead of me. i was a non person completely unimportant. my survival depended on taking care of others without complaint. i didn't exist.
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