Sunday, June 11, 2023

dream of army chaplain

ready to sacrifice for peace.  maybe we'll have peace when we all are ready.  we have to be willing.   

my stomach is upset, hurt, and healing.  i'm hoping.  re watching wall-e and bringing up baby i never noticed how violent and dramatic.  too tense for me.  i built up a callous to be able to tolerate my family that is gone therefore stomach upset and sensitivity.  i used to be amused by arguing and conflict.  i don't enjoy tension.  i wish i could cry.  i know exactly how prince harry feels by the unhappy look on his face.  i was harassed and criticized by my family for looking how i felt.  i had to look mindlessly happy for which i was labeled stupid.  just so i didn't look sad.  his dilemma too i've no doubt.

i have a hard time crying, my mom slapped me until i stopped.  "i'll give you something to cry about."

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