Sunday, June 4, 2023

feeling terrible

nausea, pain, depression.  yuck.  my childhood.  the haze of nicotine kept it barely bearable.

i'm soothing my soul watching 9 movie christmas collection.  nothing like my depressed violent family experiences.

tooth bothering me.  another reason of millions or billions of inconvenient details.

9:30 pm a day of emotional pain worse than physical.  no amount of drugs, alcohol, exercise helps change it only postpones suffering.  i can understand suicide.  when life improves the wounds start to heal and feeling replaces numbness.  post traumatic pain returns to be processed, dealt with.  

just realized tina turner died 6 months after her youngest son ronnie died of cancer complications and craig her oldest son shot himself on 7/4/2018 about the time i bought my car on the anniversary of tina leaving ike 7/4 and a year after eric died of cancer.

no wonder i feel like crap.  watched another interview harry spare prince.  all you have to do is look to his great grand parents to see the truth.  his great grand dad was a spare too.  like me.  

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