i was afraid i was crazy like mom always said i was. maybe mom was crazy. projection. watching 'sybil' again it never occurred to me before. i'll have to sit with it awhile. i think this is the first time i understood it. i've watched it many times without knowing why. mom was cruel and crazy. she burned me, hit me 'i'll give you something to cry about', called me cold when i became afraid to cry, pinched, slapped me and encouraged my sisters to torture me too. i can admit it now they're all dead and can't hurt me anymore. except in my mind.
tv commercials keep me from getting too engrossed. i can do other things. bills paid. games played. distance myself from my pain.
care more yearly physical went great. i arrived 10 minutes early. got my flu shot. standard tests ok. still 5' 6". whew i was afraid i compressed my back. i'm losing muscle mass. i had already noticed this month. nurse practitioner angelyne suggested i use some weights. turning 70 soon the stages of living. done by 9;09 too early for seniors i went to walmart to pay pge. found grapefruit drink packets. i wanted more grapefruit for my nausea. tried it delicious. $3 for 10. sorted drink mixes.
seniors 9;56 #4 i think there are fewer cars. picked up weekend sandwiches. lunch heavy on soy sauce i added squash i cooked last night with my corn chili beans. delicious.
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