Sunday, March 7, 2021

today world peace

easier than yesterday's daily word of yes!  i can handle that better.  seems less personal.  
i watched judgement this morning.  dalia hippolito 2011 murder for hire.  the murderer's defense claiming it was for a tv reality show.  even though no one else was in on it.  

and now i understand nit and alien.  mom raised two animals.  lying and betrayal are easy for them.  no motivation to be otherwise.  mom only punished me not them.  so they laughed at her behind her back and continue to ridicule me.    

my right temple still hurts.  it's just over the eye socket today, smaller area.

i successfully entered second monopoly code.  hurrah me!!

it's actually cold today.  refreshing.  i'm wearing reading glasses to save my eyes.  new behavior.  i can read without them but then every thing else is blurry for awhile.  refocusing takes longer.  and i remembered mirror for park cross street.  it fit right inside pop up laundry bags i'm using as sun shades.  

internet has a mind of its own.  pages keep enlarging and jumping like it has hiccups.  and duplicating pages.

i watched oprah's interview with meghan and harry, i can sympathize, empathize completely.  i lived through and are still subject to that betrayal by my family.  so viscerally pain filled.  i spent years alone trying to figure it out.  they have each other.  

my sisters would laugh.  to the world they'd appear sympathetic.  schadenfreude was coined for folks like them.  they still laugh at me.  criticize and humiliate me.  i knew instinctively when tom chose his nieces betraying me he was 'family'.  my wolf family.  he invited me to a performance at city college.  after his nieces expressed interest in going he uninvited me forbidding me from going.  i no longer wanted to go.  i didn't want to make waves.  if i had gone he would have held me up as being so in love with him.  like he tried to do with dr. debbie.   i feel such pity for the behavior.  i knew i could never depend on him.  

i keep putting one foot ahead of the other.  

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