i want to watch 'young rock'. and i discovered i can go back emails to list from specific. and now as i delete old mail it's going odd. i started with 100.
i wanted to look at taxes. i have all the numbers together i just need the fed tax table. i'm thinking of putting it towards next years taxes. when i feel stronger i'll do it. i asked tom for help like he did when i was sick. i should have told him to hire someone like he told me instead of doing his taxes for years and teaching him how.
i'm blessed i have tv. i'm so alone. my sisters hate me as my mom taught them. they hate me like they hated her. i'm just a substitute. all my major relationships have been with people who used me up then dumped me. i don't know how to have a healthy happy relationship. i've always wanted good people in my life. my ex wanted stuff. my family wanted money-stuff.
i want happiness. they all stole from me and i was told don't feel like that. and when i was beaten i was forced to stop crying or be beaten more. i was burned with incense. my sisters blamed me for their mistakes and i was punished. i learned to numb my feelings. they learned to avoid punishment.
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